Don't oversell!

I was recently messaged by an man on OkC who was 53 years old.  In case you need reference, that makes him over TWENTY years older than me.  His "looking for" age bracket?  28-35.  But since 28 is basically grown up, I can't condemn him for the same age gap insanity that I ranted about in last week's post.

So I saw his pictures and he seemed pretty young-looking - I honestly thought maybe his age was a typo, and he was 35, not 53.  So, despite the temptation to respond to his initial message with "Dad, is that you?" I wrote back in a friendly way and asked if his age was for real.  He said that it was.  But that was not what took the OkCake.  Here is his response, verbatim:

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hey there - great to hear from you - I like your energy and funniness :) Yes, I'm 53 - I take good care of myself and live how I'm supposed to live, otherwise, you get old.

It's nice to talk to someone in the writing world...what kind of writing do you do, edit? I just finished writing a personal growth book that's being edited. Also, am releasing a new album soon and am rehearsing my band to play shows. Do you play music? Maybe we need you on backing vocals? :)

I wasn't really trusting the questionaire - that's why I didn't answer questions...probably my Ph.D. in psychology getting in the way :) Hey, chatting is old fashioned but having coffee is the new hip thing to do...let me know :)

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Be still my thumping heart!!  Somebody catch me while I swoon!!!  I am dazzled by your calculating inclusion of not one, not two, but THREE key bits of self-promotion in as many paragraphs!!!!  Not only are you as well-preserved as Keanu Reeves, but you are a published author, recognized musician, and diploma-ed "doctor."  

I'm gonna need a second to get my panties back off the floor.

..........

Yeah, laundry-listing your life's accomplishments is NOT endearing.  I didn't respond to this OkStupidity; luckily the perpetrator has left me alone and gone to seek more-easily-impressed targets with probable daddy issues.

I can imagine a few of you male readers out there scratching your heads saying - but this guy has done so much; doesn't he sound like a vivacious, bull-horn-grabbing, diverse, interesting person?  

You know, he probably is.  But he's also likely an arrogant prick or an insecure wimp ... or even both.  Either way, this dude obviously needs his ego stroked.  I have better things to do with my hands.

I acknowledge - it may be that some guys who use the "shock-and-awe" strategy to bombard female targets with their brilliance are really genuinely enthusiastic, and just looking to share.  They may want potential partners to know, right away, what is important to them, and what they're willing to invest time and effort into.

But when you put all your this-is-why-I'm-awesome cards out on the table ... it just makes you look like you're trying too hard.  Don't oversell!!  You'll appear to be much more confident and interesting if you throw out tidbits occasionally and NATURALLY.  This guy was so hell-bent on making sure I knew he was a triple threat that he actually misread my profile (I'm an educator, not a writer) in his effort to squeeze all of his super-duperness into his response.

So, even if you are, in fact, a super-duper dude, believe me when I say that you won't get dates with women when you've convinced them you're a superpowered douche.  Make like Clark Kent and cover up with a little modesty, hm?  We mere mortals sure would appreciate it.