Show yourself!

My second date originating from an OkC contact was ... the most snooze-inducing hour and a half of my life.  I can't even provide you with dialogue since there is NOTHING memorable about our encounter - even the food (fish and chips) was insipid, in spite of generous doses of ketchup and malt vinegar ...

I had contacted this particular OkStupidman based on the whimsy of his profile pic (he was sitting on a bench, looking sideways at a gigantic stuffed animal seated next to him), and his slightly snarky profile - I enjoy a good dose of sarcasm, and he seemed to wield words enviably.  We even chatted a few times online before meeting, and a compatible vibe was definitely there.

I got to the restaurant first - it had been my choice, and I was disappointed to see that it was more dive-y than "colorful;" still, a local had promised me good eats and friendly service.  I waited.

When OkStupidman walked through the door, it was over for me, physically.  I asked myself - how did I not realize what this man looks like?  We made it through a dinner filled with false starts and halfhearted jokes, and said goodbye unenthusiastically.

What is the lesson here?  It's not about writing a profile which is as equally boring as you yourself are in person - I can understand, and forgive, that our face-to-face connection was a pale shade of lavender compared to the vibrant interactions we had enjoyed before.  He probably thought I was intolerably dull, as well.  But the date - and the accompanying conversational floundering - could have all been avoided had his pictures resembled the man in person.

So, what is today's lesson?  INCLUDE PICTURES OF YOURSELF THAT ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE YOU!  I went back later and realized that this particular OkStupidman had only included pictures of himself taken in profile.  Aha!  I know the trick of it now.  So, this particular piece of coconut-preservation advice includes the following stipulations:

1)  You need to have at least one picture of yourself looking directly at the camera.  Face forward.  Artistic, angled, pensive, staged shots are all fine and good (though hopefully there aren't too many) - but at least one needs to show your whole, smiling face.

2)  If you are anywhere in the vicinity of bald, you'd damn well better show it.  If you are wearing a hat in every single one of your pictures, I will dislike you - and not because you're bald, but because you're hiding it.

3)  Even if you have an eight-pack and Ken-doll-hips, do not do the cell-phone-camera-bathroom-mirror-shirtless thing.  Girls who put up pictures like that appear to be slutty - whether they are or not.  You, in turn, just look like a douche. 

There are women who loooove guys with a shaved head, or who just don't care about thinning or missing hair, the same way that there are guys who don't care if a girl has a few extra pounds on her.  As for your stellar bod, she'll have plenty of time to discover it if you click - but you won't get a chance to click with her if you've already convinced her that you're a superficial man-whore.  A general idea of your fitness level is fine, via a full-body shot that shows if you're skinny, well-shaped, pudgy, or even flat-out overweight.  But keep your damn shirt on.

Besides, do you really want to waste your time going on a date with a woman who isn't at least reasonably sure she finds you attractive??  Post some authentic pictures of yourself, and you may find that while you go on fewer dates ... they'll be better ones.